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Finding your meaning

A big part of my work with clients as a Life Coach is to help peel back the layers of socialization that we all have, until we find the “true nature” of a person. It’s their likes & dislikes, the inherent knowledge that people have about the purpose and meaning of their lives. Often the things that we liked to do when we were kids are the core of our true nature.

I didn’t mean to spook you with the whole socialization thing, this is what I mean: The concepts we learn as we grow up in our society, the values and beliefs that are instilled in us by parents, peers and the media. What’s normal and acceptable, and what isn’t.

Some examples are:

Nobody loves their jobs.

Work is hard.

Busyness = worthiness

You won’t amount to anything unless you go to university.

Tradespeople are dumb.

Women should stay home and cook.

I have to get married, buy a house with a white picket fence and 1.5 kids

I’m not allowed to love my life

People will be weird around me if I create a life I love, and they don’t

I have to be cool and collected all the time

Showing emotions is weak

They’ll say I’m a bitch for standing up for myself

You can’t have it all

Any of these make your blood boil??

My friend Amy once said: “All these beliefs and values that people passed on to us are like glasses of water. We’re balancing all these cups and don’t even know what’s in them. It’s our duty to examine them and see whether or not we’d like to keep them.”

It takes work to examine our beliefs, and sometimes it can be painful, and more often so incredibly freeing! It’s so worth it if you are up for the challenge.

Back to our true nature.

I just returned from a trip to Germany where I visited my family. Whenever I am there my mom and I look at some of the old documents or photos she has kept from our childhood. We found my elementary school report cards! In Germany, in grade 1-3 kids don’t receive grades but 1-2 pages of written feedback from the homeroom teacher. (SO much work for the teachers!)

I loved reading ours, my brother’s were hilarious and both of ours still ring very true today.

Among other things my grade one report card said this: “You have a keen interest in noticing and wanting to understand everything that is happening around you, so you frequently ask questions. This has led to you taking longer breaks between your work. Sometimes you like to meander around class. You like helping other kids and you are really good at it. Your table is often empty and you forget that you have to do exercises too to keep learning.”

The whole thing made me chuckle, I remember doing some of these things (meandering around the class because I didn’t really feel like doing the work I was supposed to be doing), but more importantly I very much see myself in this part “You like helping other kids (people) and you are really good at it.”

It excites me to no end that I feel like I am on the right path for myself. That even in grade one I really liked helping my peers, and that even then I was good at it. Nowadays I’m a Life Coach, and I get to support and help people with their lives. No wonder that working with my clients fills me with so much joy, energizes me and fills me with love and appreciation. I have found my way back to my “true nature”, which I think is awesome.

This doesn’t mean that I am enlightened and have let go of every “glass of water” that anyone has ever given me, but that I am on a path that is right for me. I am learning, growing and letting go every day. That’s a life long endeavour, not to be rushed, but to be taken seriously in a playful way.

Everyone has a different way of life that is right for them, and we all have several ways that may work for us. The trick is to figure out which way is your way, and then live your way unapologetically. You are a total powerhouse. Stand in your power, and practice letting go. Letting go some more. And letting go some more. You do you. Don’t ever let anyone tell you how to live your life.

And while you are living your awesome life just the way that you love it, you might just inspire other people to do the same. Knowing and seeing there are other people out there who do things differently and live a happy and successful life (whatever success means to you) is inspiring and powerful.

Be the role model. You totally rock.

And if you need a role model and don’t have one in your circle – take me! I’ve always lived to the beat of my own drum and I love my life.

If you would like to explore options to work with me, have me in your corner while you create a life you love, schedule a time for us here!

Jani is a certified ICF & Martha Beck Life Coach, and offers a free discovery session to those who are ready to create their best life.

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