By: Tova Gaisin
I choose goodness, kindness and love.
That is the way I wake up every morning whether it is raining, snowing, hailing or even sunny and warm! It has always been my mindset! I love the feeling of waking refreshed after a excellent night’s sleep! I know there will be those that will grumble at me that they need their coffee to jump start their day! I love the morning! Everything is fresh and new! I love the spring season because the flowers are starting to bloom, the leaves on the trees are coming out. I love summer because I love water sports and being outdoors is exciting. Fall is a beautiful time of the year, the leaves changing colours jumping in the fallen leaves.
The first snow when the snow is magical and pristine is beautiful as well. I feel life is a beautiful mystery that every morning is mine to discover.
I love to lie on my back and tell stories about the clouds in the sky and see the different characters I see! I especially love watching sunsets near the water with the reflection on the water!
Growing up we were not rich, my parents never seemed to have any money and I wrote stories and daydreamed about how I would help people when I grew up.
I was a good listener when it came to being with adults. I learned so much, and loved to talk to my friends! My friends were always going places after school, or I had classes. I never had problems with homework it never took me long to complete. My passion was reading, I was lucky I was able to bike across the street to the library. Having a book in my hand and reading it at the park or in my bedroom was the best. I would get caught up in whatever I was reading and forget about time. I was lucky I was able to read to the kindergarten class several times a month.
Everything I did gave me pleasure and I always looked forward never worrying, and definitely I did not have fears.
As a child I was sure that no matter if bad things happened, you moved on and do not dwell on it.
As a child I did not believe in monsters until there were monsters. These monsters were friends of the family and acquaintances... as a child I blocked out theses monsters. As an adult I remembered the monsters again, I remembered telling others, even teachers and they did nothing, saying I was making it up. It was a different time. I had to forget. I became a victim and my life was not whole.
My belief system started to change Little by little. I did not enjoy the 4 seasons everything looked blue and lifeless.
I needed to love getting up in the morning again, I wanted to see the sunrise and see the sunset glistening on the water!
I wanted to love myself and not feel that I was not important. I mattered, each person I spoke to mattered. Little by little I realized that my early life did not break me and that I could be whole again. You see I knew that I was going to be okay, that I could flip an internal switch and make myself happy. Nobody could make me unhappy unless I let them.
Today I love sunrises, sunsets, the water lapping on the shore! I love to see a rainbow after a rain storm. I love spring, summer, autumn, and winter. I love to look at the planets and moon and I imagine what my life would look like if I decided I did not like or love themselves! The biggest thing I notice is I smile more and feel the sun shining inside as if it is sunny inside me! I have a lot to be joyful about. I have 4 children, a step-child their spouses, a dog, a grandchild and my honey! I have good friends and family,
I have a purpose in life and the ability to be the captain of my own ship. I choose goodness, kindness and love. It is truly a beautiful life. I feel it from the inside and out.