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Here, Let Me Make You Uncomfortable

When I went to the Reiki level one classes in 2005, I had no idea what Reiki was or even that people went for healing sessions. I had seen a Psychic at a Psychic Fair and she said she saw me doing Reiki. A week later a friend of mine who I had not seen in 7 years mentioned that she went to Reiki healing sessions and that her Reiki Master was teaching level one in a couple of weeks.

The Reiki Master I learned levels one and two under was taught Reiki in the traditional manner. We learnt the history of Reiki, we learned a symbol we could use, we practiced the hand positions for hours and eventually, we gave each other Reiki.

My Reiki Master made me uncomfortable. Her style of healing was to ask questions. Eventually, the questions would poke the part of the person that needed to be healed, emotions would run high and on the tailwinds of Reiki, the trapped energy caused by the issue would start to move up and out of the person on the table.

Maybe it’s because I am uncomfortable being asked questions that she made me uncomfortable. Nonetheless, in my discomfort, I decided I would just heal people in a gentle manner.

I have tried that. In doing that I feel inauthentic. In doing that I am trying to control something that should not be controlled. In doing that, I have made myself uncomfortable to the point that I block people from coming for sessions. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable. I want people to have an enjoyable experience.

I have several friends who are healers. One is a very gentle healer though the sessions are powerful and effective. Another friend who is a Shaman also offers powerful and effective sessions, but those sessions are louder and have a more intense feel to them. I like both sessions, but I am aware that sometimes I need one type and sometimes I need the other.

Maybe it’s because I have a short attention span but having someone lie on my table while I send Reiki is very boring to me. If that is my only choice as a way to offer healing, then I would rather not offer it. I block clients from signing up for sessions because the thought of standing over someone for an hour makes me cringe.

On the other hand, I have loved doing distance work. During distance work, the people don’t get in the way. During distance healing sessions, I have moved around, stretched, burnt incense, gone for a walk, danced around, screamed, and even spent entire sessions knelt over the toilet dry heaving.

I have never scheduled distance Reiki sessions. It’s my belief that I send Reiki how and when I want and the Universe will decide when it is the perfect time for the client to receive it. Considering there is no such thing as time, there’s a chance the Reiki would be received in what we consider the past. So, without the concept of time interfering making an appointment could very well sound like “Hi. I’d like to schedule a Reiki session for about two and a half years ago on a day in May.”

So, as I am coming out of hiding, renewing my website and actually want to build a client base and offer healing sessions (amongst other things), I need to get out of my own way and do healing work like I was destined to in a manner true to my nature, rather than fighting against it.

Right now, the thought makes me uncomfortable and I am not sure I am ready. It makes me uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as I’m going to make a lot of people that think healing has to look a certain way.


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