"Everybody hides their heart away, got us thinking that somehow love has changed…”
That’s a lyric from a song I wrote a couple of years ago, which is at the forefront of my mind as I reflect on love and life.
We live in a crazy world today when it comes to relationships.
We ghost and get ghosted, bench and are benched; we orbit and get orbited, we play and get played - all in an effort to not get hurt.
I feel like we are guarding our hearts more than ever before, even though we live in a time where we can love who we want.
I went through a breakup last year that really took a toll. I was shocked and sad, and the first thing I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never come out. And while I do think it’s necessary to take the time to heal from our wounds, at some point you have to crawl out and let people into your life again.
I’m got gonna sit here and say that getting hurt doesn’t suck. Breakups are terrible – I don’t recommend them to anyone. But through all of my wishing that my relationship never happened, and all the “if only I’d never met him”’s and “why me?”’s, I’ve realized that as I get further away from the heartbreak, I can see how much I’ve grown as a person. If my heart wasn't broken, I would be a completely different person today. And I have my ex to thank for my new kick-a** attitude!
Throughout the healing process there were many times that I wanted to hide my heart away and close myself off from the world. You tell yourself that being alone (friend or relationship wise) is more comfortable than meeting new people and having new experiences.
Whenever I feel a moment of pain, I remind myself to keep my heart open, and that closing myself off only masks the pain. When I stay open and let new people and experiences come into my life, I am healing, and fulfilling my journey. I can allow myself to be happy. Moving past pain is only possible when you let new experiences in your life and let go of the old ones.
It's important in our moments of sadness that we stay kind towards others. It's so easy to hurt other people to keep them at a safe distance, instead of letting them in and risk getting hurt again. But living our lives hidden away takes away our most amazing moments that we will only regret not living later on.
Keeping your heart closed off from the world only pushes people who love you away and digs your hole deeper. Moving on from an old routine and into a new one is never easy, but I remind myself that new is exciting, and amazing things can happen when you least expect it.
I'm choosing to open my heart. I don’t know what this season will bring me, but I know that if I have hope, this year is gonna be a good one.