Sometimes, From A Twist Of The Old
I was speaking to a caregiver and she was telling me how she felt like an alien around her family because she is so forward thinking, so different, but her family is so afraid to change anything. I reminded her that it is ok to be different because that’s how life progresses. We no longer want to live in the status quo. Inventions are born through curiosity or necessity; we are bored with the old ways of doing things and we change them. Nothing wrong with that.
Long ago, I was afraid to change things, because you guessed it, I would never hear the end of it from everyone around me and of course you would be looked at differently. Family pressures, peer pressures work pressures, can be brutal. So, I tried to stay the same, move with everyone else, but change is inevitable, and we will be who we will be. This is what makes our world so special. Each one of us are unique and we need to start embracing who we are. If we are good and just, causing no harm to others or to ourselves, what is wrong with doing things a little differently than the average person.
What is wrong with cutting a watermelon one way instead of another? What difference does it make if we fold our clothes this way instead of that way? And if someone wants to wear one green sock and one blue, so be it. It is not wrong because somebody else believes it to be wrong. Who is to say one way is better than another? We all have different beliefs, and we should welcome those that think differently than us and see the bigger picture, without knocking them down. Maybe their way is easier, and it is a way you never thought of doing something before. Or maybe you still like the old way of doing things. That is great too! Do it the way it feels right to you and do not let anyone else tell you it is stupid, or crazy or dumb because it is not the norm.
Take this weekend for example. It’s Easter and being Italian, we make these special desserts called Casada, and we make them just for this special time. They are pies with ricotta inside and yes, they are yummy! They are done ‘the traditional way’. Only, the traditional way includes flour I cannot have, so this year, I tried to make these desserts again with a different type of flour. One my body can tolerate more.
Well, you guessed it, gluten free flour which always has a different consistency. So, putting my fear away of what everyone will say when they see my desserts made differently, (I know, I am cheating a little, since we are on lock down and not many will see what I’ve done), I got to work on making something I too can enjoy this time.
A ricotta mix is sandwiched in between two pieces of this special home-made pie shell and because of the different flour I used it did not hold as well as regular flour would. As such, it made it difficult to put one pie shell on top of the other. So, I improvised.
Instead, I took out my tart shells and started fitting the dough in those. Then I just filled them with ricotta and baked them as usual.
They were fantastic, and the best part was that the tarts are so small they are easier to pop in your mouth. Needless to say, they were a hit, so I was happy. Happy family, happy mom.
I looked at my new creation and thought of all the wonderful; ok, let’s get real; the not so wonderful words that would be thrown at me after I dared change a traditional dessert. Well, how else are new traditions born? Sometimes from a twist of the old.
So, just because something has been done the same for so many years, does not mean things have to stay the same. This pandemic for example has forced us to do things differently, so the new ways we are adapting will most likely be brought into the future. Our kids will know no different than what they see before them today.
As long as you are living your life happily and things are good, who are we hurting by changing things a little? Maybe some of those changes are for the better and maybe new ways were inevitable.
Keep your eyes and mind open and don’t blast someone because they may choose to do things a little differently than you. You might just learn something that actually adds value to your life.
Live a little and try something new that you would not have dared to do before. And yes, that can include leaving the house with no make-up or not dying your hair, because you actually like the way it looks. I’m sure no one will think any less of you. And I am certain they will love you for embracing the You that you are.
S R John
Author S R John
Ghost Detective The Magic Ruby
Life Coach - Caring for the Caregiver
Volunteer Ontario Caregivers
Married to a man with Bipolar. Caregiver to family. My own health scare has been challenging. We forget to take care of ourselves.