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Balance Within Communication

Communication is key in any relationship - be it with your children, friends, siblings, spouse, or even your parents. Conveying information between each other opens up avenues of growth, trust and intellect. Communication is a balance of giving and receiving, of sending out and allowing in. Properly executed, it builds healthy relationships.

As a speaker, be direct and honest. Your audience will relate to your sincerity. As a storyteller you are able to stimulate your listener’s imagination by relaying relevant and powerful details. Non-verbal communication includes body language and sharing emotions such as crying and laughing. Showing vulnerability personalizes your relationship with the listener.

Active listening involves paying attention to the conversation, not interrupting, and taking the time to understand what the speaker is sharing. Effective listening allows the receiver to better understand, to truly hear what people are saying - not what they want to hear, or think they hear. Taking the time to listen is important in any committed relationship. Being attentive by watching body language and non-verbal clues is crucial.

Imagine if we all had the courage to be totally honest, were able to fully express ourselves, and understand the other. This would eliminate most problems in communication. There would be no guess work nor imagination creating feelings and events which never happened.

Unfortunately, many of us are not effective communicators. So, how did we get this way?

If we take the time to really look at humanity versus the animal kingdom we may wonder if humans are indeed any smarter. Animals live to procreate and survive. In this humble life there is a balance. Balance is what sustains healthy bodies, well-adjusted offspring, monogamous partners, or herds with dominant males as protectors. More importantly than balance – it is the time they spend together. There is intuition and a trust in the system of life. The health of these wild animals is remarkable. They live and communicate by instinct alone, taking only what they need to survive.

Humans, on the other hand, need to dominate. Many of us lack trust and take more than we need. There is an unhealthy need for power which eradicates balance, causing irrational and painful relationships. Unfortunately, we have a need for material wealth which comes at a ridiculous price. In the past two hundred years pollution, mental illness, global warming, divorce, disease, have all increased at an alarming rate. Humans have been on this planet for eons, yet JUST the past two hundred years we have seen the world’s greatest deterioration as it tries to balance the huge man-made influx of negative humanity. Wars are being fought for money and power.

The act of gaining dominance and material wealth has increased the tide of failing family relationships. The time allowed amongst each other has shortened drastically. Currently, many families struggle to enjoy a meal together. Children crave the security of their family. It is difficult growing up in today’s society. Communication has broken down drastically.

I’ve experienced this blindness in a healthy relationship. I had been married for over thirty-five years when I became ill. My partner took care of me throughout the two years I was very ill. Eventually I began to get stronger and more independent. When I became stronger the balance began to shift and we unknowingly began to drift apart. I felt like we were walking on eggshells. We were irritated with each other as this shift towards my recovered health caused changes in our every day lives. Finally, the accelerating tension created a huge blow up. It caused a rift which lasted over a week.

Luckily a family issue created the need for me to email my partner at work. It opened up a line of communication which held no emotion or physical presence. It was neutral territory with the added feature of a letter which communicated open and positive words. The communication began slowly and steadily increased as we began to truthfully reveal our thoughts and emotions.

I explained I didn’t know how to reach my partner anymore and I felt we were walking on eggshells around each other for the past six months. What was wrong? Remarkably his answer was “I felt the same way and wondered what was wrong with you.” There it was!!! Miscommunication through the assumption that something was wrong. What a waste of time and energy. We slowly found our way back to each other with a valuable lesson learned indeed.

Assuming what an individual may be thinking is not the answer to a healthy relationship. It takes courage to be honest and own the outcome of your truthfulness. The truth always comes out. Why wait when so much time can be saved. Communicate effectively and create balance in your life!

Peace and Light!

Ella Balkwill: Having designed clothing, successfully ran an interior design business, and shared her artistic talents, Ella eventually flourished under insurmountable odds. After redesigning, not only herself but her life, Ella now shares these vulnerable moments with the intent to help others thrive! You too can design your life!


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