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Why do Friends Disappear After a Divorce?

As a newly divorced person, you are suddenly seen as being eligible to your married friends -- so invitations die off or disappear.

Your couple friends start to feel afraid that if they associate with others whose marriages ended, theirs could be heading in the same direction. Divorced people are viewed as part of a singles group or you’re a failure and that may make some married people uncomfortable. Trying to make new friends after a divorce wasn’t easy for me. My ex-husband cheated on me, so I had a trust issues.

Don’t let your divorce change the dynamics when making new friends. Start by setting boundaries and only pursue people to make friends not a support system. For example, you might feel like venting with a friend and confide in the details of your past relationship. That type of behaviour can sabotage any friendship.

Be sure to tell only the closest friends the details and only if they are comfortable to discuss the topics. It's normal to feel emotionally needy as you're going through the grieving process, but friends play a different role than having a Divorce Coach. So, be careful who you choose to discuss your personal life with.

As an adult I've come to realize that true friends stick by you no matter what, during the good times and the bad times. Finding new friends can be part of your new beginning of another chapter in your life. Create a Group of Friends Build more than one type of friendships such as your close friends, buddies, acquaintances. People you go for coffee with or your friends you hang out with at the mall or go for dinner.

But your real closest friends, you know the ones you talk about your personal feelings, can trust and have mutual respect. The ones who are there to help you and have your best interest in the friendship. Those are your true friends.

If you’re not able to receive that from a friend, then it is time to evaluate your friendship and ask yourself. Is this person a devoted friend or is it time to let it go and make new friends?

Making New Friends

When choosing your friends ask yourself the following:

• What value does this person bring into my life

• What do you have in common

• Do you have the same values and integrity

• Can I trust them

New friendships need time to develop properly, so if you push a new friend to be your BFF right away, you may lose them all together. Don’t rush it. You need to know when to step back and allow the friendship to grow. Listen and get to know them. Don’t judge, give them time to express their opinion.

Remember, only discuss your personal issues with selective friends and build a network of friends for a variety of social activities.

Everlasting Friendship

Give your friendship time to grow and ensure you are a good fit. It requires a little patience and time to find a good friend. But if you give it time, you'll have a better chance of developing a strong bond for a lasting friendship. Learn about each other as who you are and your personality traits. This will create a true friendship right from the beginning. Friendship for most people is a combination of caring, honesty, loyalty, respect, and trust.


Benefits of having a Separation or Divorce Coach

While your struggles have played a significant role in your life, it does not have to define who you are, what you do, and how you want to live. If you are ready to change your mindset and think about new ways to change your future, you can achieve your goals. Taking the first step offers opportunities and a happier life. Do not be afraid to reach out and start a new chapter.

Having a Separation & Divorce Coach by your side …. Offers a deep insight, help you find answers, offer practical tools for change, growth, and understanding to achieve the results you want.

Reaching out for help is not a weakness, it’s a strength. Let me help you take control over your emotional stress, frustrations, create happiness, increase your energy, and get excited about your new life! Ask yourself! Is it better to be alone or is it better to take the first step to make a friend? Are you happy being alone or are you lonely because you don’t have any friends? It’s time to take the first step! Patricia Lavigne - Separation & Divorce Coach, Life Coach, Parent Educator CPC, CRC, CSC I have been providing coaching services for several years and provide value for my clients. What ignited my passion in helping others was going through my own struggles in life and how I had to work through those experiences. I want to help others avoid those struggles.

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