If I tell you that I am a life coach and that I can help you tap into your potential and create the life of your dreams, would you hire me?
Most likely because you do not see how it will benefit you and my promise is vague and unclear.
Remember, when spas, massages, manicures, and pedicures were not a thing. What would your grandmother have said 40 years ago if you suggested she get a massage? She probably would have said that it was a waste of time and money. What did she say when you told her she should get a microwave? Mine said, "I don't need that in my house. I've been cooking for years without it, and I have been doing just fine."
See the trend here. Today these things are common and even essential parts of our lives. Is this because the powers that be brainwashed us into believing they are helpful. Admittedly, this can often be the case. Still, many products and services have proven to be beneficial to the quality of our lives.
In 1995, Daniel Goleman published a New York Times bestseller with the title Emotional Intelligence. His book changed the way we understood intelligence. We began to dive into the reality that IQ was not necessarily the most critical factor in success. More and more research showed that a more crucial factor in determining our ability to reach goals at work and in our personal lives is EQ - Emotional Intelligence.
Emotional intelligence, according to Goleman's model, is comprised of the following:
Self-awareness: knowing one's emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values, and goals and recognizing their impact on others while using gut feelings to guide decisions.
Self-regulation: managing or redirecting one's disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
Social skill: managing other's emotions to move people in the desired direction.
Empathy: recognizing, understanding, and considering other people's feelings, especially when making decisions
Motivation: motivating oneself to achieve for the sake of achievement.
Emotional intelligence became widely recognized as being an essential skill in the workplace. We learned that it could be cultivated and learned. Employers began investing money in assessing their staff's EQ using tools such as EQ360 and developing training programs geared towards increasing this valuable skill set. Today, some argue that we are still not investing enough in this type of training. I certainly saw this trend in education. I haven't extensively analyzed the data, but I can confidently say that the most influential teachers, principals, and middle management employees in education undoubtedly exhibited strong EQ skills.
There are solid arguments for the relevance of EQ in the workplace. Companies continue to spend at least a part of their budgets on this type of training.
But are we taking advantage of what we know about EQ and applying it to our personal lives? Most of us have goals. We want/need to get in shape. We want/need to be more successful at work. We want/need to better deal with our emotions. We want/need to have better relationships. There are at least as many personal wants and needs out there as there are individuals. And yet, we are not developing one of the most significant skillsets for getting these wants and needs met, our emotional intelligence.
We are not inherently born with skills such as resilience, self-awareness, problem-solving and personal leadership, among others. Our school systems are overburdened with programming and curriculum obligations, so we can't count on them teaching these skills to our kids. And as adults, many of us did not have parents who were necessarily strong in these areas because they were not prioritized. But now, we know how relevant they are to the quality of our lives. And there are many affordable and convenient ways to increase our EI. And yes, hiring a coach is one of them.
Why are we not turning towards our most significant asset? Our potential for developing a valuable and life-enhancing skillset EQ (emotional intelligence).
I would argue that the underlying reason is that the culture and society do not endorse or put much stock in this kind of financial investment. There are so many other places you are being encouraged to spend your money. Think about it. How much money did you spend on things that got in the way of you attaining your goals just in the past six months?
Investing in developing your emotional intelligence supports you in increasing the behaviour that gets you what you want and desire and decreasing the behaviour that gets in the way. Go over the list at the beginning of this article. Can you identify one goal you have that could not be achieved by developing one or more of these competencies?
That is where life coaching comes in. You are, in essence, hiring someone to help you develop the skills and competencies that will allow you to achieve whatever you want. And once you learn these skills, you will be able to apply them to all other areas of your life. It is an investment with an exponential return on investment.
Now there are coaches with various niches, and you'll want to find one with a life experience that matches your needs.
We do not all have the same training or skill set. Do your homework. A competent coach will be in a position to help you develop and learn the EQ skills relevant to your particular situation.
You went to school to learn the skills necessary to be a valuable member of society and get a job that could allow you to pay the bills.
Think of life coaching as getting an education in developing the skills necessary to up-level your life.
Love and support.
Self-Love Coach, Workshop Facilitator, Speaker
705 229 6436