Jani Martinius

Living in Overwhelm

Fall can be overwhelming. Kids go back to school, work continues, there is still a semblance of summer to be enjoyed, even though we’re kind of excited to get cozy, hunker down and have all the pumpkin spiced foods & drinks. The list of “priority” chores is endless, and let’s be serious; so is the list of fun activities.

It sure looks like everybody else has it all figured out though, living a life in beautiful balance.

So what’s wrong with me and why am I the only one struggling?

Let’s clear this up really quickly: Nobody has it all figured out, like, at all. We are all struggling to find and create balance in our lives, especially the folks who have kids. Nobody is perfect (while many of us pretend to be, but “being perfect” doesn’t actually exist, so it’s like trying to capture unicorns. You will never ever succeed). Social Media has a way of helping us put up this façade of (often fake) awesomeness. Everybody shares only the highlights of their lives, the super fun, exciting and note worthy parts (and the ones they made up). And guess what, as we scroll, that’s all we see. “Perfection”, and then we make up stories to explain how those people really do have it all figured out.

Seeing one cute picture of someone’s dog, of course means that they have adorable kids who behave well ALL the time, a career they love, a “perfect” partner, a house that is always tidy and clean, and to top it off: delicious homemade bread, kombucha and hummus. And all of this, totally effortless.

Do you see how our story turns out to be quite ridiculous and makes us feel terrible? Especially since we spun it on the merit of one very cute dog photo.

All of this to say that we all feel overwhelmed, and the way we connect with each other online doesn’t help us in dispelling any of this nonsense. It just adds stress and anxiety to achieve these goals of perfection that are total BS.

What are we to do?

I think we need a lot of kindness and compassion, especially towards ourselves. Imagine you are talking to your 5-year old self. How would you talk to that little person? Would you shame them for not being perfect? Or would you give them a hug, say I love you, it’s ok to not be ok, you are loved, and in time everything will work out just fine?

Talk to them, they are still inside you, yearning for love, care and attention. Take care of this person, and listen to what they tell you. They are very wise, just like you!

Nobody can do it all, all at the same time. We all need to pick and choose how we spend our time and energy. I fell out of a beautiful routine of morning meditation & yoga sometime this summer. At the time it felt so nourishing and healthy for me. Right now, I sleep all the way until my alarm clock starts chirping, and I could easily sleep for another two hours. I know that meditating & yoga would be very good for me. But right now, I choose sleep. And I can still know that the time of my lovely morning routine will come back to me when the time is right.

What’s something you can let go of right now, knowing that if it’s important and nourishing it will find it’s way back to you at a later time?